As one of Australia's favourite films turns 30, explore anew the landscapes the movie showcased to the world.
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Perched on top of the imposing dark red rock of Kings Canyon's south wall, my eyes are drawn to three bright colours - pink, yellow and green. It's as if somebody has taken highlighters and etched these unnatural splashes of colour into the outback landscape.
I use a pair of binoculars to bridge the gap across the canyon and instantly spot US drag star Utica Queen, in a pink slip dress and heavy make-up. Nearby is fellow RuPaul's Drag Race reality TV performer Joey Jay and UK drag queen Sister Sister, who are both decked out in radiant frocks.
The odd queen out is English court jester Ginny Lemon, who is wearing a relatively conservative white shirt. After we send a "cooee" - which echoes around Kings Canyon - to catch the queens' attention, Lemon walks to the cliff edge, drops their shorts and flashes their wiggling white bum to a chorus of laughter.
It's a "cheeky" moment that perfectly encapsulates the vibe of our journey across Australia's Red Centre. I'm here at the Northern Territory's spectacular Kings Canyon as part of the 30-year celebration of the iconic 1994 film, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. As are the four foreign drag queens, who awoke at 3am to begin work on their hair and make-up, before retracing the rocky steps undertaken by Priscilla actors Hugo Weaving, Terence Stamp and Guy Pearce for a publicity shoot.
In the final moments of Priscilla, Pearce's character, Adam/Felicia Jollygoodfellow, utters the prophetic words, "I had a dream," before the three, clad in full drag regalia, begin their ascent. Then, in the penultimate scene of the film, the trio stand triumphant on top of Kings Canyon's south wall; they've survived not only the hike, but the existential threat of bringing Sydney's drag culture to the outback. The grandeur of the 400-million-year-old landscape in the sweeping panorama only magnifies the accomplishment. "It never ends, does it? All that space," Stamp's character, Bernadette, remarks.
Three decades later, it's a sentiment that holds true for Utica after the commemorative ascent, in the bar of the Ayers Rock Resort. "It really showed us we could be a part of the expanse of it all," he says. "It made me feel very small."
The enormity of the ancient landscape and humanity's minute place in its history is an awareness that travels with you around Central Australia. For some, it's an unsettling sensation. The scorching heat, the isolation and the untamed landscape present genuine danger.
But as I fly into Alice Springs three days before our Kings Canyon climb I'm buoyed with anticipation. Unexpectedly it's not the dry desert heat that welcomes me to the outback (it's unusually humid and actually cooler than the east coast), but the flies. Unseasonal summer rain has meant the flies have bred in plague-like proportions - or at least it feels that way.
The flies are particularly terrifying for one of the English journalists, London-based TV writer Ed Gleave. At Ormiston Gorge he is found cowering under a beach towel uttering, "How do you stop them buzzing? Why would anyone want to come here?"
The latter is a question that's been raised increasingly over the past year as Alice Springs' problems with crime and disadvantage have been given prominence in the national media. Yet some local tourism operators believe instances of crime are overblown and comparable with other regional towns.
Never during my stay in Alice do I feel unsafe. Sure, the town of 28,000 has a rough and ready vibe - particularly to east coast eyes - but it's oozing with a sense of adventure and laid-back charm.
That's evident in Alice's impressive cafe scene. Despite its isolation, the love of the bean has reached the Red Centre. The Bakery and Page 27 are both popular haunts. The latter is tucked away in a shaded laneway that is humming with families and young professionals. Think outback hipster vibe. The sriracha chilli eggs with bacon on sourdough are incredible.
Most people you meet come to Alice for adventure. The city has that quality in spades. It's what famously brought Priscilla's busload of drag queens to Alice Springs in the film to perform at Lasseters Hotel Casino and it remains vivid 30 years later at the FabAlice Festival, an annual celebration of LGBTIQA+ culture and diversity which is held each March at the Alice Springs Convention Centre, inside the Lasseters complex.
The convention centre is little more than an RSL club, but as I walk into the glowing neon-purple lobby I'm greeted by a mix of drag queens - including two people dressed head to toe in sequined lion bodysuits - and mature old-school Territorian blokes in rainbow vests.
As a heterosexual married father of two, it's definitely not my usual scene. But it's impossible not to get caught up in the energy, and the pure fun. Over three nights we are wowed with live drag performances while watching Priscilla on a big screen, plus stand-up comedy and music performances, including a set from entertainment doyen Rhonda Burchmore, whose quip about being "six-foot one and worth the climb" has the English drag queens bellowing with laughter.
FabAlice was launched six years ago to celebrate Alice Springs' role in the Priscilla film. FabAlice manager Dale McIver says the movie has been a constant driver of tourism.
"Kings Canyon, in particular, a lot of people re-create the shots of Priscilla's Crack and on the rocks," McIver says. "Talking to people tonight, they're saying, 'I can't believe I'm at Lasseters now where the film was made'."
Despite the evening's frivolity, it is Alice Springs' permanent attractions which provide the greatest thrills. Drive a short distance out of town and the environment transforms into a real-life Albert Namatjira painting. The West MacDonnell Ranges, known as Tjoritja to the Indigenous Arrernte people, snake across the arid landscape.
It's with this natural beauty consuming my senses that we embark on a short walk into Standley Chasm with our Arrernte guide, Johnson Maloney. Standley Chasm is a three-metre-wide and 80-metre-high gorge 40 minutes' drive west of Alice Springs. Its traditional name is Angkerle Atwatye, meaning "gap of water", and it's a sacred place for the Arrernte people.
Along the walk we sample a bush banana (which has a slightly nutty taste), spot a resident Gilbert's dragon (a small lizard with a yellow strip along its body) and listen to Maloney explain the Arrerntes' kinship system (a mental map that groups various relations together to guide in marriage and producing offspring).
We also have an opportunity for quiet reflection within the chasm's red walls as we're guided through a watercolour-painting class by English expat, turned Alice local, Anna Dakin.
Just as we're mixing our paints we're suddenly interrupted by desert rain. Big, fat raindrops fall onto my canvas and onto my sweaty back. It's a soothing sensation, only heightened by that alluring smell of rain on dry grass.
But mostly I'm overawed by the space. The quiet. It's a sensation I experience again the following day at Simpsons Gap.
After being guided by the co-owner of Red Centre Adventures, Luke Hoolihan, through the undulating 17-kilometre track from the Desert Park, we arrive via e-bike to the colossal Simpson's Gap.
If this was an east coast landmark, it would be crawling with tourists. But on this overcast afternoon we're alone, except for the resident black-footed rock wallabies and the ghosts of millions of years. The mix of red jagged rocks and dark purple hues changes depending on the light and the time of day. It rewards repeat visits.
After three days we depart Alice Springs, bound for Kings Canyon, or "Queens Canyon" as it's been renamed for this excursion. Due to recent rain we are unable to take the 332-kilometre partly-unsealed Mereenie Loop road and must drive an extra 130 kilometres along the Stuart and Lasseter highways.
Eventually we arrive weary, yet excited to embark on the five-kilometre Kings Canyon Rim Walk at dawn the next morning. The opening salvo of the rim walk is a steep rocky staircase known as "heart attack hill". It's not just a catchy name. There's even a defibrillator positioned at the top. Beyond "heart attack hill", the rim walk is a fairly comfortable hike, but you've got to be mindful of where you step or you could easily sprain an ankle, or worse.
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We pass through "Priscilla's crack" (named after a scene in the film) before we stroll past a 500-million-year-old Mereenie sandstone fossil of a trilobite, an early marine arthropod.
Eventually we reach the south walk for the most impressive views of Kings Canyon. The drag queens have moved on, but one of my companions whips out a mini portable speaker and starts playing Finally by US R&B artist CeCe Peniston. The house anthem was one of the most popular tracks from the Priscilla soundtrack.
With Peniston busting out the lyrics, "Finally it has happened to me, right in front of my face/And I just cannot hide it," it's impossible not to break out into a little bop there on the ancient cliff face.
It must look so ridiculous from a distance, but somehow it feels so right.
TRIP NOTES
Getting there: You can fly direct from all Australian state capitals to Alice Springs on Qantas. There are daily flights from Sydney and Melbourne.
Staying there: Crowne Plaza Alice Springs Lasseters has rooms from $255 for a standard room to $361 for the deluxe king suite. ihg.com/crowneplaza
Touring there: Red Centre Adventures' Simpsons Gap Sunset E-bike Tour is $350 per person and includes e-bike hire and a bush-inspired food platter. Entry to Watarrka National Park at Kings Canyon is free and doesn't require a permit. The Kings Canyon Rim Walk requires a moderate level of fitness and can be completed with or without a guide.
When to go: Alice Springs and the Red Centre can be visited year-round, but the high season is during the cooler months of May to October.
Explore more: northernterritory.com; redcentre.fun
The writer was a guest of Tourism NT.